hmm, I want to write a story for you.

Alright...I shall begin:

Once upon a time there was Suzy. Now, Suzy was a crazy little thing, let me tell you. She enjoyed the colour red above all others (like blood you see...), had a terrible ibuprofen addiction, and had a scream so loud it could make windows explode and cause the innocent woman walking across the street to be impaled with hundreds of glass shards and to bleed until not even eating an entire raw cow would allow her to get the iron she needed to remain alive.

Suzy had no friends. For anyone else, this would be depressing, but not for Suzy. She didn't like people much, and enjoyed causing immense amount of pain to anyone who got in her diabolical way. No one ever questioned Suzy's actions, for if they did, she would just scream in their ear, until their brain turned to porridge and they were left drooling and moaning for the rest of their lives. Nothing made Suzy happier than turning people into pitiful vegetables. Nothing.

Not even newspapers would publish the devilish deeds of the evil torturer Suzy. They were too afraid. One brave magazine tried publishing a story once, when Suzy ripped through an entire woman's body, making the poor victim rupture until all that remained was a pile of blood and vomit. It was not pretty. That magazine has never been heard from again. It's been said all that remains of the publishers are charred bits of fingernails, and if you walk by where the magazine used to be, you can still hear the echos of Suzy's infamous scream.

Suzy spends most of her time in hiding, but her murderous urges just can't be contained forever. Once a month she comes out of her treacherous abode (no one knows for sure where she hides) and goes on a week long killing, and torturing spree. She doesn't eat. She doesn't sleep. She doesn't even have the time to blink. She just goes absolutely crazy. The unfortunate thing is, Suzy only attacks women.

There is hope. There is one known survivor of a Suzy attack. Although her rampage on this one victim is not ever, it seems like all will be well, and although she will come out a changed woman, she WILL come out of it. This woman is known as Kesinee. For over a week now, Kesinee has been a victim of Suzy. She hasn't been able to sleep, hasn't been able to relax, and has even shown signs of the horrible ibuprofen addiction Suzy demonstrates, but she will survive. I know she will. She must. She is the one hope for all humankind. Suzy must die.

The End.

I hope you enjoyed it. If you hadn't figured it out by now, this is a short, metaphorical story about the most painful and horrible period of my entire life EVER that I am currently going though. WORST. EVER. I got the pill in order to make the cramps better, but I guess I didn't start them at the right time...so my hormones are all messed up, and the pain is almost beyond bearing, and it has lasted SOOOOO loooooong...more than a week now folks. Kill me now. I feel like I could drink blood and still be anemic. Delicious, I know.

Now that I have sufficiently grossed you out...I say mission accomplished.

Love,

Kesinee